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The Bern
Silver Wing Expert
Silver Wing Expert
The Bern

Number of posts : 851
Location : Telford, UK
Points : 2950
Registration date : 2014-11-20

virus alert update Empty
PostSubject: virus alert update   virus alert update I_icon_minitimeMon Mar 09, 2020 9:19 am

VIRUS UPDATE ALERT.

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to the recent virus threat and have therefore raised their threat level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, level may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.”

The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.

The virus has been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let's Get the Bastard.” They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”

The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose.”

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its alert level from “No worries” to “She'll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
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Cosmic_Jumper
Site Admin
Cosmic_Jumper

Number of posts : 3367
Age : 77
Location : damn near Philadelphia, PA
Points : 7910
Registration date : 2009-06-12

virus alert update Empty
PostSubject: Re: virus alert update   virus alert update I_icon_minitimeMon Mar 09, 2020 10:14 am

applauseapplauseapplause
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rustysdream
Scooter Rider
Scooter Rider
rustysdream

Number of posts : 92
Location : Brighton, Ontario, Canada
Points : 194
Registration date : 2020-02-26

virus alert update Empty
PostSubject: Re: virus alert update   virus alert update I_icon_minitimeMon Mar 09, 2020 12:15 pm

rolling laughter
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Mech 1 twa
Silver Wing Expert
Silver Wing Expert
Mech 1 twa

Number of posts : 848
Location : Allentown PA.
Points : 2530
Registration date : 2016-01-02

virus alert update Empty
PostSubject: Re: virus alert update   virus alert update I_icon_minitimeMon Mar 09, 2020 8:48 pm

Sulu red alert shields to full power. Chekov arm the photon torpedoes and fazers. Spock what the hell is that. Scotty, Capitan I"m giving her all she got.

Good one. Smile
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oldwingguy
Silver Wing Guru
Silver Wing Guru


Number of posts : 1503
Location : Hocking Hills U.S.A.
Points : 3274
Registration date : 2016-01-29

virus alert update Empty
PostSubject: Re: virus alert update   virus alert update I_icon_minitimeMon Mar 09, 2020 9:53 pm

No fear dear hand sanitizer at the ready Smile good one.
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GHM-PM
Site Admin
GHM-PM

Number of posts : 1754
Age : 67
Location : Bullhead City, AZ
Points : 4869
Registration date : 2012-05-17

virus alert update Empty
PostSubject: Re: virus alert update   virus alert update I_icon_minitimeTue Mar 10, 2020 8:04 am

Oh, I love this one! thumbs up
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"Hi Yo"
Silver Wing Guru
Silver Wing Guru
virus alert update 510-80

Number of posts : 2946
Age : 71
Location : Winnsboro, Texas, U.S.A.
Points : 6935
Registration date : 2010-02-17

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PostSubject: Re: virus alert update   virus alert update I_icon_minitimeTue Mar 10, 2020 12:00 pm



rolling laughter rolling laughter rolling laughter


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Dale N.
Site Admin
Dale N.

Number of posts : 1479
Age : 73
Location : Princeton, MN
Points : 3902
Registration date : 2014-02-13

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PostSubject: Re: virus alert update   virus alert update I_icon_minitimeTue Mar 10, 2020 1:14 pm

That was great!! Loved it!
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Winger61
Silver Wing Rider
Silver Wing Rider
Winger61

Number of posts : 438
Age : 71
Location : Louth, Lincolnshire, UK
Points : 3983
Registration date : 2010-10-15

virus alert update Empty
PostSubject: Re: virus alert update   virus alert update I_icon_minitimeTue Mar 10, 2020 6:13 pm

Love it!!
Re the aussies, I read an article the other day that one paper in Aus had printed a diagram on how to cut it into squares, and where to pierce a hole for the string, to hang it in the toilet ready for use in the event of a toilet paper shortage.Laughing
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Mech 1 twa
Silver Wing Expert
Silver Wing Expert
Mech 1 twa

Number of posts : 848
Location : Allentown PA.
Points : 2530
Registration date : 2016-01-02

virus alert update Empty
PostSubject: Re: virus alert update   virus alert update I_icon_minitimeTue Mar 10, 2020 7:30 pm

I have a large supply of US. newspapers yeah it's a little rough but it's mostly crap anyway.
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Delray
Super Scooter Rider
Super Scooter Rider
Delray

Number of posts : 294
Age : 66
Location : Delray Beach FL
Points : 1055
Registration date : 2018-07-07

virus alert update Empty
PostSubject: Re: virus alert update   virus alert update I_icon_minitimeTue Mar 10, 2020 10:33 pm

WHY on God's green Earth are there toilet paper shortages with this?
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exavid
Silver Wing Guru
Silver Wing Guru


Number of posts : 2577
Age : 77
Location : Medford, Oregon
Points : 6684
Registration date : 2009-07-17

virus alert update Empty
PostSubject: Re: virus alert update   virus alert update I_icon_minitimeTue Mar 10, 2020 11:24 pm

Because the TV and News people are crapping all over themselves telling us all the 'end is near'.
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The Bern
Silver Wing Expert
Silver Wing Expert
The Bern

Number of posts : 851
Location : Telford, UK
Points : 2950
Registration date : 2014-11-20

virus alert update Empty
PostSubject: Re: virus alert update   virus alert update I_icon_minitimeWed Mar 11, 2020 7:32 am

Possibly the ultimate irony ..... Health minister Nadine Dorries tests positive

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/10/health-minister-nadine-dorries-diagnosed-with-coronavirus
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Hiyo
Scooter Rider
Scooter Rider
Hiyo

Number of posts : 66
Location : East Central Illinois
Points : 292
Registration date : 2019-10-22

virus alert update Empty
PostSubject: Re: virus alert update   virus alert update I_icon_minitimeSat Mar 28, 2020 10:24 am

It's gone viral!
Every four years on election year in the states since 2004 there has been an epidemic of some sort
( H1N1, SARS, MRZ, SARS etc.) Aaaand here we are.....
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GHM-PM
Site Admin
GHM-PM

Number of posts : 1754
Age : 67
Location : Bullhead City, AZ
Points : 4869
Registration date : 2012-05-17

virus alert update Empty
PostSubject: Re: virus alert update   virus alert update I_icon_minitimeSat Mar 28, 2020 11:44 am

I agree Hiyo! most of us "mature" individuals have lived through MUCH worse, but since this is an election year... Here in the US we usually hear little about flus that take thousands of lives until they are over. Not this year. I am not certain how this plays in other countries...
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Osprey
Scooter Rider
Scooter Rider


Number of posts : 99
Location : Northern NH
Points : 821
Registration date : 2018-06-30

virus alert update Empty
PostSubject: Re: virus alert update   virus alert update I_icon_minitimeSat Mar 28, 2020 4:55 pm

I've been keeping up by reading without comment lately.  Can't help with this one.
Ya'll have the right attitude rolling laughter

My contribution is the emotican for the relationship between Trump and the Media or between the Media and Trump.  Whichever works for you.   vomit

Then again, it is all crap.  We need a toilet paper emoticon with Covid 19 Stamped on it.

Let's sell hat's and t-shirts! chickendance
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GoonerKev
Touring Scooter Rider
Touring Scooter Rider
GoonerKev

Number of posts : 382
Location : Reigate, Surrey, UK
Points : 851
Registration date : 2019-04-09

virus alert update Empty
PostSubject: Re: virus alert update   virus alert update I_icon_minitimeSun Mar 29, 2020 9:02 am

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing thumbs up
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janitorj1
Maxi-Scooter Rider
Maxi-Scooter Rider


Number of posts : 101
Age : 67
Location : Folkston, GA
Points : 2222
Registration date : 2014-09-07

virus alert update Empty
PostSubject: Re: virus alert update   virus alert update I_icon_minitimeSun Mar 29, 2020 11:14 am

I did hear that a daily newspaper in Australia did in fact put out eight blank pages in one of their editions for emergency use as toilet paper. I know we have some Australian members. Any truth?

Jon
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exavid
Silver Wing Guru
Silver Wing Guru


Number of posts : 2577
Age : 77
Location : Medford, Oregon
Points : 6684
Registration date : 2009-07-17

virus alert update Empty
PostSubject: Re: virus alert update   virus alert update I_icon_minitimeMon Mar 30, 2020 3:20 pm

The local paper in my town has one part worth reading and that's local news. Most of the rest and all of the oped section is suitable for bathroom use.

By the way anyone who uses newsprint for bathroom use won't do it for long. Even worse for those on a septic tank.
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rustysdream
Scooter Rider
Scooter Rider
rustysdream

Number of posts : 92
Location : Brighton, Ontario, Canada
Points : 194
Registration date : 2020-02-26

virus alert update Empty
PostSubject: Re: virus alert update   virus alert update I_icon_minitimeMon Mar 30, 2020 6:15 pm

https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/
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