A husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, "Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!"

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. "What the heck is this?" he said to himself as a little cloud appeared when he shook them out. He hollered into the bathroom, "Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?"

She replied "It's not talcum powder; it's Miracle Grow...."