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 BUT WAIT!!! Theres more!!!

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AuthorMessage
KurtPerthWA
Silver Wing Expert
Silver Wing Expert


Number of posts: 944
Age: 63
Location: Belmont, Perth WA
Points: 2751
Registration date: 2009-01-19

PostSubject: BUT WAIT!!! Theres more!!!   Fri Aug 19, 2011 9:40 am

EVER WONDER?

Ever wonder where we are headed?
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why you don't ever see the headline: "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
Why doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows?
Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
Why the man who invests all your money is called a "Broker"?
Why there isn't mouse flavoured cat food?
Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavour?
Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?
Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
Why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping". (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap". (And that would be how???)
On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost". (But, it's just a suggestion).
On Nana's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down". (Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating". (And you thought????)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body". (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication". (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those fork-lifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness". (And...I'm taking this because???)
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BUT WAIT!!! Theres more!!!

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