I have been reading for hr's now about the difference between the, oil used in the engine and what is used in the rear drive.

The manual calls for the same and sais nothing about even changing the rear drive oil. Yet there is an an opening and reference on how to change the fluid.

I have read both Honda forums which I used all the time and I am still confused.

There has been a lot of talk about oil filters and it would seem that according to people that have dissected all the filters for sale in the United States, that the Purolator Pure 1 is built better than all the rest.

I have a 2008 and it has 12,000 miles on it . Last year I used Amsoil in the engine and rear end. So far so good.

Will some one please try and put an end to the madness of what to use? Pleeese!

The madness will never end.
Some use the service manual as their Swing bible, others as a general guide, and others don't even know it exists.
As long as you're following the service schedule in the owner's manual you will be fine.
Don't even start about oil filters. You will never get a final answer, because there isn't one.