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 The Purina Diet

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exavid
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Number of posts : 2113
Age : 75
Location : Medford, Oregon
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PostSubject: The Purina Diet   Thu 11 Jan 2018, 00:44

Yesterday, I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Necco, the Wonder Dog, who weighs 191 lbs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant? So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is, to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.

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willajabir
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PostSubject: Re: The Purina Diet   Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:06

Oldie, but a goodie !!!!!!!
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exavid
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PostSubject: Re: The Purina Diet   Thu 11 Jan 2018, 12:57

You don't really think it could be a new one from an old codger?
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janitorj1
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PostSubject: Re: The Purina Diet   Thu 11 Jan 2018, 21:50

Well, I've never heard it before - cute - but lame - all at the same time. Can't ask for anything more than that.

Jon
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